SafeHouse — Restaurant in Milwaukee

The Safehouse has been around for decades and back in the day it was an awesome place to go. And for the newbie, exploring the spy atmosphere would still be a good time. It's unfortunate that the quality and service has declined so much.

Out of the gate we were told there was no brunch that Sunday, even though their website states brunch is available every Sunday from 11am to 2pm.

Our server started out in character and appeared upbeat and friendly. Midway through our lunch it was painfully obvious she was bored with zero interest in being there. We had to ask for waters, and then only one glass was brought for a table of five. Some people ordered burgers and fries, and we had to ask for ketchup and mustard. Every request had to made multiple times because she would just walk away and seemly forget we were there.

I ordered a Cuban, which is suppose to come with honey mustard aioli. Completely dry. No aioli. I ordered coleslaw and fries - had to ask for my coleslaw. One of our group ordered ribs. They were not served with the rest of the food. It took three requests for status before we were told they took longer than everything else but "should be out shortly." So you time everything to come out at the same time, you don't make a guest sit and watch the rest of their group eat while they wait an additional 10 minutes for their meal.

The recipes on the specialty drinks have been change. I don't know how long ago, but terrible. The Spies Demise used to be this fabulous, fruity, cocktail. Now it's gross and made with Pepsi.

The Columbian Chicken Salad was noted by our group to be very good, and the ribs were also enjoyed by the person who ordered them (once she received them). Though the two who ordered burgers said they were very tasty, they did note that the buns were greasy making them messy to eat.

I recommend using the assignment card (which used to be a great piece of folded cardstock that looked like a briefcase but is just a sheet of paper now) that is given to the each member of your party and use it to explore the restaurant. There are so many fun spy things to do. The "card trick" guy (which I apologize profusely for using this term because I just can't remember the proper name at this moment) is amazing. Seriously. Don't miss him.

If you've never been, go at least once for the spy experience. If it's been a long time since you were last there (was over 20 years for me) be prepared for...

We went to SafeHouse yesterday for lunch to celebrate 2 kid birthdays (party of 9) and had a very unfavorable experience. We chose to celebrate there because we really enjoyed the last time we dined there a few months ago. After this experience, we will not be back.

When the first group of 4 arrived, we were told we had to wait outside if we wanted to do the secret password fun with the group. I told the host that we are celebrating 2 kid birthdays so we want them to to do something fun to get in. Once the other 5 arrived and we all walked in (from outside), there was no host, and they opened the secret door and an announcement told us to just come in. I stated that we wanted to wait for the host to come back and they just stated that "they were short staffed." This was the first visit for 4 of the guests so that ruined the initial experience.

The host inside, nor our server, recognized the 2 kid birthdays, even though I put that on the reservation and we had crowns/gifts/ect. with us. No one even said "Happy Birthday."

The last time we dined there, all hosts/servers were in character and made the experience fun like we were all spies. They really got the kids excited to be there. This time the host/servers just seemed to be in a bad mood.

We were only given 2 menus for our table of 9 and even though we asked for more, we never got any. Our drinks were never refreshed until we asked, and the food was just mediocre. One of the guests had to go up to the bar to get more drinks at one point. The order was also incorrect for multiple guests and 2 sandwiches were reported to be cold. I also had to remind the host and server that we put in an advance order for 2 large birthday desserts and they acted like they had no idea what I was talking about. I understand being short-staffed, but we saw plenty of servers and the restaurant was not busy at all. I honestly think that was just an excuse, and that would still not be a reason to treat patrons rudely, since that is how we felt the whole time.

The one thing that saved the birthday party experience was the Magician. He...

Ok. Are you a spy? If you are you have to tell me. It's the law.... Well fine, don't tell me. (I'm not sure what I was thinking... Ha... This is a review, you can't talk to me.) But hey no matter, as long as you keep your mouth shut I'll tell you about..... wait for it..... the Safe House!!!! Dun dun DUUUUNNNN... But 1st things 1st.... I'm Gutter Junk the spy! I've been a spy for many years. I spy on humans. But please don't tell them. I've been spying for as long as I can remember. Maybe I started in 1934.... oh... you don't wanna hear my story, your here for the review... Well anywho... This place is GREAT!!!! I'm giving it all of the yellow complex polygons that I can give it. I wish I could give it, idk.... 8 more yellow complex polygons because they keep secrets and feed people amazing food in the most entertaining atmosphere! It may be tricky getting in tho.... You can't be any geek of the street, you gotta be handy with the... Uhhh .. if you know what I mean. Earn your entry. Regulators! Eat up! I've waited about 6 or more years or so to do this review because I don't wanna get found out about my spying and all... Anyways. The walls move! Yeah you read that rite, they had a tiny spy vs spy toy on the wall, they had a magic man doing card tricks!!!!! Where else can you go in this town to see magic card tricks?!?! Who cares cause this place is better! I had so much fun here and you will to! I've been planning my return for, well, I can't say.... Top secret and all.... So if you can find this place and they let you in, tell the door guy Gutter sent ya... He doesn't know me but he might make your family or friends do something that you'll never forget!!!! And that's extra special.

P.S. I Love You

is a sad sad movie that made me cry.... A lot. But this place is safe and will not make you cry, unless it's crying from laughter or joy or something. Definitely not from sadness.

P.P.S. the picture I submitted is not the restaurant.... I'm not telling you where this place is! Find...